Large & Not-So-In-Charge

Some days - and let me tell you, this is one of those days - I simply feel large and not-so in charge. Being now that I am 8 months pregnant, everything is growing. And I mean EVERYTHING. Don't get me wrong, I know it's all for the sake of growing a precious human being but no one ever said how hard it would be! And hold on a second, did you catch that? I am growing a human being in my body! 

I literally have fat rolls in places I didn't even know could have fat rolls. My feet swell up just from standing too long. I get contractions as soon as I get out of bed and move around. I pee myself every time I laugh too hard or sneeze or cough. Nothing ever sounds good to eat and I swear I'm not eating an entire cow a day, yet somehow I manage to gain over 2 lbs every week. What is up with that?! Oh and the best part, if I exercise I get contractions. My body is working against me! I swear it just wants me to be 300 pounds and a hot mess. 

Aside from feeling large - and I suppose I should rephrase that because I don't just feel large, let's be honest, I am way larger than I've ever been! I don't feel so in charge of myself anymore. 

My emotions, thoughts, everything! is simply out of my control. I freak out over the dumbest thing - such as my husband forgetting to put his dirty dishes away - and am totally chill about bigger, more important things that would normally cause a major panic attack. Say what?! My poor husband! He probably thinks I have gone totally mental. But let's face it, I have!

At the end of the day, I have to gently remind myself again that I am growing a tiny person. And while my body and mind are totally not my own any longer, this little human is going to be so damn worth it! I will soon forget about my sleepless nights, peeing my pants, and turning into a whale and I will be consumed by this little man. But until the day comes... I'm just large & not-so in charge.